December 6, 2011
 

2 Corinthians 4:8-9
"We are pressed on every side by troubles, but we are not crushed. We are perplexed, but not driven to despair. We are hunte down, but never abandoned by God. We get knocked down, but we are not destroyed."
 

I haven't even left yet, and I have already experienced so many challenges that I have come up against, times where I throw my arms up and scream to the heavens "I GIVE UP!!!", people who have torn me down, situations that have discouraged me, times where I have been so exhausted and don't want to continue fighting, and a time where I really thought I would just quit.

 

But every time He has brought me back.
Every time He has shown me and reminded me of what He has in store for me.
Every time He is that one soft whisper amoungst the noise that little encouragement to keep trekking along.
Every time I think that I only see darkness, He shows me that little inkling of light to show me the next step.
Every time He has rejuvinated my empty, starving soul.

 

A friend once told me of a story of a guy who had started some sort of organization or missions thing in Africa. He was asked about the beginning of this journey. What made him decide to start. How he thought of the idea and so on. He was very unwilling and unsure of what would happen in the beginning, as it would cause him to be ushed out of his comfort zone, move from home, spend money on an idea he wasn't sure would work etc. God had asked him to start this missions thing for Africa. So he, later, asked God, why? Why him? Why, out of everyone, did God choose him to do it? God responded, because the others I asked before you said NO.


That story has always hit me pretty hard. I think of it once in awhile and ask God each time to help me humble myself and do whatever it is he calls me to. But it is always easier said then done. We like our comfort zone. We like to know whats going on, what the plan is, what will happen next. The unknown is terrifying. And the thought of dropping everything, job, home, family, friends, your life, and following God, and just trusting that everything will work out in the end, that thought is especially terrifying.


But when I think about it I would rather have God turn my life upside down then not do something he asks of me just because I am scared. I don't want any thing, anyone, any emotion or feeling to hold me back from greatness, or the AMAZING plan God has for my life.


 

 Here I am, SEND ME!

October 12, 2011

"Marina, tell him that I love him."

Uhhhhh, wait, what?

"God loves him."

Haha you're funny! No way am I doing that, people will think I'm crazy!

"You've always said you don't care what people think, now is the time to prove it."

Really, NOW?! I don't want to do this by myself, if someone were with me here then I could!

"I'll be with you."

Thats different!

"If you don't start doing this now, you won't have the optimum experience when you're on the race, you can't hold back just cause you're scared. You'll miss out on so much."

Alright, alright, I need your strength, cause I don't know how I'm gonna do this... Can't I just give him a note? You know start with baby steps?

"As long as he knows."

 

"Next time darling. I believe in you"